Mornings these days are a little crazy. My 5 1/2 year girl old bouncing around the house, needing to get her hair fixed in some way that doesn't look like she's getting neglected by her parents. (She's got some really curly hair - it has a mind of its own - but if we don't tame it, I think someone might turn us in to CPS.) We've also got an infant needing to be fed. He's almost 2 months old.
And then there's my 2 1/2 year old son. Today he decided to have a stand-off of David Koresh proportions. Over a banana. Actually, 1/3 of a banana. He was ready to get on with his day (without any breakfast). He was even coming up with a list of demands during the situation (turn on the TV, give me my bite-a-min (vitamin), yada ya). But Elaine wouldn't let him down from the table without eating this little measly bite of fruit.
I was on my way out when I thought it was probably best for me to hunker down in the trenches with my wife and lend some support. The kid is sliding around in the chair - bringing the drama - fake crying (loudly) - you know, the whole nine yards. I don't even remember what all was said/done, but he finally ate the dang banana.
I left. Got a text from my wife that he then proceeded to ask for another banana and ate that one too.
He's a turd. I love him. But - he's got his moments.
I was a little ticked that I was late for prayer at church today. Just generally feeling annoyed. And feeling for my wife as this time seems out of control and she's overwhelmed trying to wrangle the 3 kids. Mix in a little 'woe is me' with some 'is life ever going to be fun again' - and there you have me driving in my car.
Finally arrived to prayer with my peeve-ish attitude.
We read 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
Then we listened to "Though You Slay Me" by Shane and Shane. Great song - pulls from the book of Job.
We were asked if anyone wanted to share their 'momentary afflictions' that God was allowing them to go through.
A guy I barely knew said he'd share.
And it was like God smacked His 'hands' together in front of my face. He got my attention.
This guy starts telling of his family. Married - 4 kids. The youngest of which is 4 months old and has some pretty serious health issues. There's some anger - there's some resentment. And the family is just going through some hard, hard stuff. I honestly can't even begin to relate to the reality they are living right now. We prayed - the best we knew how. Made my struggle look piddly.
And my perspective immediately shifted. But hear me out - I was undone. In a couple of ways. I was undone for what his family was going through. And I was undone because God shined a light on my selfishness and lack of gratitude. And honestly, I was a little disappointed in myself.
That's the story. Not really sure what the moral is. (It all started with that dumb banana). But my desire is to live more in that spot of thankfulness for the HUGE blessings God has allowed in my life. My desire is to be more ready to love on those that are going through the rough places - and to spend less time looking at my life under a self-serving microscope. My desire is to worship Him anyways. Even when I don't feel like it - to constantly have a story of His goodness ready to share.